I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize