At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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