I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
