if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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