There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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