But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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