Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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