I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
