I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
