Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
