if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
