I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
