I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Welp...herpes.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize