She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize