Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
