Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
