do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
