Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
