I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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