Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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