I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
