youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
