im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
