actually, I'm a sock model
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize