I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
