You made me cry and you don't even care
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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