Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize