The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
