My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
