make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
