i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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