the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
