Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just gift wrapped bread.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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