I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
