What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
