Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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