All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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