Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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