"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
