I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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