And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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