HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
