cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
