It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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