I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just invented taco cereal.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
