Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
