I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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