I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize