Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
