Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
