he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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