you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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