Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
