just come out here and I will go home with you...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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