do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
