was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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