we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize