Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
