No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
